Annie Writes a Love Letter to the Class of 2020 and A College Experience Cut Short

Dear Old Dartmouth,

This isn’t the goodbye I wanted or the one that I could have ever envisioned. It’s hard to give up on the dream of walking across the stage at graduation with a cap, cane and the college diploma I’ve been working towards my whole life and, specifically, for the past four years. But, it’s been the moments leading up to now that makes this so difficult. To be honest, in the beginning I thought I made a mistake choosing to come to Dartmouth instead of a place more familiar and comfortable with the security of my older siblings. But, in the end that’s what made you so special- you were and always will be mine and that’s something I’ll cherish forever. You forced me out of my comfort zone time and time again. You allowed me to grow, branch out, learn how to be myself, and build a support group of my own that I now call family.

Mostly this sense of loss and sadness stems from the lack of a proper goodbye to the people and places around campus that have become my home. I’m heartbroken because I saved so much for these next ten weeks. Big weekends, Montreal, Green key, senior traditions, final swims in the Connecticut, sunsets, and our last sunrise. It’s hard to have worked so tirelessly with this final term acting as the light at the end of the tunnel to never actually get there. It’s like closing the book without finishing the last chapter. Though I doubted my choice in the beginning, I’m grateful Dartmouth has become a place so special to me to make saying goodbye this hard. It is truly a unique place, but it would have meant nothing without the people I got to share it with. Though it took some time to weed out the real from the fake, I feel so blessed to have made friends here that I will have for life. They’ll never be right down the hall, across the green, or at practice with me every day like they used to, but I know they’ll be there for me no matter what.

I'm sure you're familiar with the cliché saying: “Ring by spring”. Well, it’s a bunch of BS. Though I didn't fall in love with my future husband, I fell in love with so much more: TDC, Wednesday’s meetings, Sunday Fundays, mornings in the poster room, fire tower hikes, dunk runs, Circle-K, the kerplunk of a pong ball splashing into a full cup, every third Thursday churros, hungover Sunday post practice FOCO fake scrambled eggs on a toasted everything bagel with a slice of cheddar and a ton of ketchup, long hours in Orozco, Collis porch, strolling across the green, that darn rope swing that nearly killed me, Mad Dog, pine park runs, walks around Occom, bid night and fat suits, crystal seshes, beading, sunnies, The Fort, court 4, Aphi late night at the kitchen table, long talks in Hansi’s office, the smell of stale beer on my frat shoes, classes, professors, happy circle, BG concerts, TDX attic midnight top secret band practice, scorpion bowls, GoPro moments, Basecamp momos, TrailBreak but mostly Clint, Boones ... the list is endless and full of all the little things and moments that have made this place so special to me.

The white chair that has sat in the corner of each of my rooms over the course of the past 4 years has truly seen and heard it all. It has endured many important, meaningful (and occasionally difficult and awkward) conversations, as well as maybe a few too many spills during pregames. I’ve sat in that chair and cried, and I’ve fallen off of it from laughing so hard. Really sums up how one thing—the chair or my Dartmouth experience as a whole— can hold so many different memories.

Looking to the future scares the living sh*t out of me. What I was so excited for just a week ago, the spring, graduation, traveling and figuring out my next step, now seems so ominous, uncertain, and fills me with anxiety. On the other hand, looking back and reflecting on my Dartmouth experience, fills me with sadness and a yearning for what has been lost, but it also gives me a sense of security and confidence. What was once scary to me freshman year has now become my home. I have grown into a strong, intelligent, capable woman and have an immense network of friends who've become my family. Wherever I go from here, I will be fine- not just fine, I know I will adapt, grow and figure out how to succeed and thrive just like I did at Dartmouth. Though it might not always be easy, the struggle and the tough days are what makes it all the more sweeter in the end.

The Dartmouth as my senior classmates and I knew it may be over, but that is not to say that our time together is done. I wish we could go back to when “corona” was just the beer that Julia always had on stock in her fridge, but sadly we cannot. Our world and lives have quickly altered in unforeseeable ways. Though it may not be the senior spring we all imagined, there’s lemonade to be made and f*ck ton of vodka to be mixed in it. If there’s one thing I’ve learned at Dartmouth, it’s that there’s always a party to be had and I’m sure as hell not done yet.

Love, Annie